I’m bored, my brain whispers.
Shut up, you.
I’m bored, it repeats. Go on reddit.
No. We’re trying this new thing where we just… drift off to sleep. Do it.
Come on! It’s supposed to be zen. We just clear all thoughts and fall asleep.
No. I have a better idea. Let’s dig up your most embarrassing memory.
Definitely not. The one with the…?
I know it’s around here somewhere…
Jaysus. Could you not? I can’t even glance sideways at that memory, let alone drag it out into the harsh glare of reminiscence!
Fine. What about past failures?
Veto. There are too many to choose from, honestly. Not sure I can cope with that right now. Don’t you have anything more upbeat in there?
Hmmm. How about… baseless terror?
How is that more upbeat?!
Okay, okay. Oooh, here’s a good one. Anxieties that will paralyze you with fear but then seem ridiculous in the cold light of day!
Like being crushed by a falling tree? Or being pushed in front of a train by a total stranger? Thanks, but no thanks.
Worst case scenarios?
Definitely a hard pass.
General feelings of worthlessness?
OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!
Let’s go on Reddit.