This morning, when I went to pull on my sock, there was a great rending RRRRRRRRIP and my heel went straight through the fabric.
I sighed and stared at it, unsurprised but somehow still disappointed that this €2 pair of socks from Penneys had finally given out after two years of wear. I pulled its remains from my foot and flung the shredded fabric into the corner.
For some reason it seems important that I tell you about The Sock. For some reason The Sock feels like a perfect encapsulation of everything at the moment; the simplicity of the fabric of life ripped asunder by the marauding heel, Coronavirus.
I don’t know about you, but I’m finding it a struggle at the moment. Life, I mean. Getting through the days feels like wading through a swamp, the thick, oozing mud sucking at my legs with every step, making the most mundane activities just… exhausting. The list of things I have to do is long and overwhelming. It’s as if someone has moved my setting to -SLOW- and I can’t seem to speed myself up. Even though my life hasn’t been altered in any meaningful day-to-day way, I fall into bed at the end of the day feeling like a melted puddle of a human being. My eyes sting. My jaw aches. My fingertips are cold and every part of me just wants to meld with the mattress.
Getting used to this new normal is taking a lot more out of me than I thought it would.
So I’m back to vent in black and white, in virtual ink, on my blog. I’m back to write my way out (r/unexpectedhamilton) of this Life Pause and try to breathe some momentum back into myself.
I also have a tab open to order new socks and try to push past this rude interruption.
How about you?
How are you holding up?